Wow..it has been almost 2 years I haven't written anything in this blog but somehow the drive is just so strong for me to start writing again..
I believe God has changed me so much lately.. I started getting prophetic dreams again.. I started seeing Jesus in a different light..It's amazing how time flies and Jesus made me fly with Him to higher grounds..
Before I started to forget things, I will just write down what I have experienced so far..
---
1. I started to understand God's grace. This is the main thing, the it thing that keeps me going. I didn't see God as judgmental anymore. I see God as the loving Father. I argued with Han over this. I told him God is just and so on and so on but truthfully I have been craving for that loving Father figure in my life that I saw God from my view of my own worldly father.
I forgot what Han did last time but i remembered it was night time. He braced the flood or something I totally forgot.. when Han looked at me in the car, and he said "It's alright, Nes." Then God's voice was so clear yet soft, He said "That's how much I love you, and so much more." BHAMM.! It got my heart sunk deep and that was the first time I knew God is showing me His love through Han. Han's love to me itself has been overwhelming. I was like a cold ice and Han's the sunshine and God made that sunshine. "That's how much I love you, and so much more."
2. Received prophesy from Ps Joshua Paul and Ps Chris Manusama..
Ps Joshua Paul mentioned I will cast off demons in buildings.. the spirit within me is much stronger, million times stronger than my physical body. I have the access key of Heaven :D, and the spirit of Deborah. He told me not to underestimate myself and that all the gifts in me are not mine.
Ps Chris Manusama mentioned I will write something to this generation, I will write God's message to this generation.. God will give me songs.. wow.. it was an amazing night I could not forget. I couldn't stop crying. God's presence was so mighty!
3. God entrusted me by becoming a Satellite Leader in FUSE. I was full of doubt, but God is moulding my heart.. God is moulding my character.. God has allowed me to see people changed for the better.
4. Experienced something crazy in Fuse Rendezfuse.. I was honored and privileged to be able to worship lead with Brian S during the Saturday night session. The session was meant to be for q+a on fuse, but it turned out to be full of praise and worship kind of night. God was speaking to individuals, there was no sermon involved..just praise and worship..it's like..God has different and specific message to each of them, including me. I remembered after the session done, people started to give me compliments like "Agnes, I'm so proud of u." "Agnes you're the best." But you know what, I didn' feel good. Back then, when people gave me compliments, I sneakily absorbed it myself. Like yes the glory belongs to Jesus but I kinda cheated on it, I took some for myself. That night, I felt like there's a shield, a layer in front of me that bounced back all the compliments. It's like..it prevents the compliments to go straight into me and feed my ego. It bounced back.. I felt it! Crazy! All glory to Jesus alone. It wasn't Agnes who led worship, it was The Holy Spirit.
5. I dreamt about Pau and Bert. I dreamt me and my sis were at this beach about to have a brunch. It was all white. The waitress and waiter wore white, white flags, white everything white. It was so peaceful and serene. The waitress ushered me and my sis to sit down , with our backs facing the shore. The table was rectangular and longg..like endlessly long. Then she gave me a list of people's names for me to choose to sit in front of me and my sis. I saw the list and I saw Pau and Bert's names. So I said to her "I pick Pau and Bert aja." I don't know why but I was driven to pick their names. As I waited for them, I saw Pau standing on the white bridge. She passed the bridge, she's at the same end of shore as I was but she was so quiet and did not move. Pau was waiting to be seated, but her face..was sad. Then the dream ends.
6. I have been reading on the book of John and 1 John - 3rd John..and I was wow-ed.. It really helps you know,..watching sermons, reading books on Jesus, then when we go back to the Bible, somehow every word comes alive! Currently I am reading the book of Mark. Book of James was amazing too.
Okay, will continue to write later. Today is fuse day!
