As a person..

As I've noticed of myself along these twenty two years of my life.. I've noticed I have 2 masks which I always wear. 1. serious-cold 2. can go crazy-nuts-go lucky-etc

People who see me wearing the first (1) mask would think I'm an ignorant ungrateful and cold girl, or someone who basically you don't want to know well nor hang out with. Only to those who are close enough to me can see the true (2) mask, which nearly 100% transparent showing everything I have-my personality, my true characters.

You can decide yourself..whether I'm a friend-able person.. honestly honest, these are the key characters of mine:

As a person...

1. I love dreaming and imagining. I like to create my own little world where everything is so light that problems seem to be off my shoulder.
2. I'm generally loyal but hopefully not stupid :P(and am not if something else came up which made me sick / opened my eyes to a better outlook)
3. I have to admit I love romantic stuffs, I love molding beautiful words.. (but just no dodgy helpless romantic poems/try-hard formal proposal which will just turn me off)
4. I love Japanese art of packaging. The content, the wrapping, I just love elegant-neat art of packaging.
5. I'm a thinker. a thinker. a thinker. a thinker. I always think here and there. Seems like everything I think about, it always branches out. Often it drives me nuts.
6. I'm an observer and a helpless reader-mania.. I just love books..I want to buy them ALL !!!
7. I like debate (but there are moments for this..not all the time), and convos which can develop me into a better person.
8. I don't gossip about people often..Only facts and whichever related to me...Just like I don't give details of personal info to many, just to a few whom I gather trust with.

As a person...I have values...

1. I don't like pretending. Pretending a little won't hurt, but if it's more than a little, then me no likey. If I really don't like a person, someone should be able to tell straight away (eg. from my tone.. or from my acts).
2. I'm hard-headed. I may look soft on the outside according to some people, but I tell you deep inside, I'm hard-headed. I would change my view only if I know I would loose in a debate (ie. the other person's points are a lot stronger and more realistic).
3. I tend to deposit 'significant' life experiences which made me what I am today, very very well. Don't forget interest applied. I've buried bad impressions on people, added supporting evidences, and sometimes the grave explodes.
4. I can be sharp as a knife with words if I'm annoyed or someone raises issues which are sensitive to me.
5. I am not a good multitask-er. I'm more of a focus-er.
6. I don't fancy lip-service very much. Pretending to care but not actually care. If I care, I mean it..the word 'love' isn't a word I would say everyday unless I really mean it.
7. I tend to teach people whom I care about (eg. my sis and my bro) : rationalism. liberty. manners (yet it's a cliche my mother always complains about my manners..but this is another story for another time)


8. No matter how bad I might sound to myself or to you... I still believe in Higher Power.. I still believe in God.. I'm just a girl with so many questions to ask..I'm just a girl who wanted to be accepted as I am...I'm just a girl who is breathing love, but still actually suffocating from hatred and painful memories... I hope God isn't bored with my stories because I truly need His guidance.

Whether You Fall - Tracy Bonham

About a year ago, a dear friend of mine sent me this song which she loved so much back then. I thought.. yeah it was alright, it sounded depressing, all minorish and simple.. and I was so much into my bossa-nova addiction.

A year or so has passed, and for some weird reason it was on play in my WMP. I had always clicked my editted playlists and never went random. The song wasn't and still isn't in any of my lists...Till that night about 2-3 days ago, the melody danced through my laptop's speakers and it reminded me so much of the sender (aren't we all like that), and that night, I decided to listen to the lyrics wholeheartedly, letting myself being soaked in the atmosphere of the song... And I was blessed and still is blessed.

Isn't it so true 'whether it's the sunshine, whether it's the rain, doesn't make a difference till you complaint' ...And isn't it true that when we get up is all that matters...the world doesn't care if we fall, but if we get up - it means anything at all. I was enlightened by this song..trully...Thank you, Kim.

Whether You Fall - Tracy Bonham

Whether it's the sunshine whether it's the rain
Doesn't make a difference 'til you complain
Whether it's the water coming in from the roof
Does it piss you off that you're not water proof?

Whether you fall means nothing at all
It's whether you get up it's whether you get up

And you hate the silence as it fills up the room
And there's not much to say to your blushing groom
Maybe all eyes are on you as you finish the race
And the world sees you struggling for last place

Whether you fall means nothing at all
It's whether you get up whether you get up

Inside and Outside

I'm currently battling with weight.. my aim before 25th December is to lose 10kg..

At least I don't eat later than 7.30 :p~~, I can go crazy for breakfast and lunch, but just not after 7.30~.. Probably somewhere around 5-7pm, I can go for a cake or two, but I am disciplining myself of not eating anything above 7.30pm.. (will I survive with this method until the 25th?)

I doubt I'd still be doing this when my parents coming in the next few months..well..an exception I'm making myself for this period would be: to eat considerably healthy.. eg. salmon? salad? or I"m not sure whether I can do this but I'd try and have a go at Greek Salad which practically has no meat whatsoever in it..PURE vege and a lil bit of cheese here and there.

But interestingly enough, a friend's sms was a blessing for me..since I have not thought a lot lately about my relationship with my Creator, all I cared about was how to lose weight and that's it. In the sms he said:

"Luke 11:39-40

³⁹Then the Lord said to him, "Now then, you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. ⁴⁰You foolish people! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also?"

He said the main point is:
What seen outside is not the most important. God also sees deep into our hearts..Good ethics and manners without the right mind-set is void.

"Bring our inner life under God's control and your outer life will naturally reflect him." - Immanuel Franklin

UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay, logicly saying

If no one can not find the Entertainment Book (to find tlp number of a restaurant), then that person or ANYONE FAMILIAR WITH TECHNOLOGY can have some QUICK THINKING and go search the INTERNET, yes? since the laptop has been on for quite some time.. all it takes just: TYPE, ENTER, CLICK!!!!! Searching for stuffs in the Entertainment Book can take quite some time because it's as thick as the bible!

While I was putting on my leggings, I asked a person to please check it out on the net since no one can find where the book is. But the person ..oh my gad.....NO comment. And the other person scolded me for being bossy and bitchy. Who's being bossy and bitchy? if i have 4 long stretch-able arms, I would put on my leggings and search the internet at the same time! THe problem is, the leggings and the laptop ARE NOT IN THE SAME ROOM!

And what's with the all-of-a-sudden complaints about my collection of cards?? my restaurant cards and my hotel cards? i cannot put them in the same card holder? It's my FRIGGIN collection, I can do with whatever I want to do with it!! Nothing has to go your FRIGGIN ways, I'm not a FRIGGIN robot or some 5 year old kid.

Bomb - JW Marriot & Ritz Carlton - MU cancelled

JAKARTA....! I'm dissapointed ....

Most of the summary based from CNN coverage:

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/07/17/indonesia.hotels.explosions/index.html :

The bombings happened this morning before 8am, first in JW Marriot then Ritz Carlton 10 minutes after. So it was said that 2 suicide bombers actually CHECKED into JW Marriot Hotel in Jakarta, predicted on Wednesday and were supposed to check out this Friday. The bomb blew up the hotels' restaurants where glasses were blown out and blood spattered across the ground (according to an eye-witness). It was said that 9 people died and 50 others are wounded. Prominent business man from New Zealand, the CEO of Holcim Indonesia (a cement company) died in the tragedy when he was supposed to have a meeting with his colleagues in Ritz' restaurant. At least about 8 American nationals are among the casualties and a couple of Australians/New Zealanders.

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"...An unexploded bomb was found on the Marriott Hotel's 18th floor where several suspects believed to be linked to the bombings were staying, Hendarso said.

Yudhoyono warned that it is still too early to determine who was behind the attacks.

"This terrorist action is thought to be the work of a terrorist group, even though it is not certain whether this is the terrorism which we are familiar with up until now," the recently reelected president said

Five were killed at the Ritz-Carlton, and one was killed at the Marriott, police spokesman Inspector General Nanan Soekarna said. In addition to the victims, a suspected suicide bomber died at each hotel as well, he said.

Security has been extremely high at the Marriott hotel in Jakarta since it was struck by a car bombing in August 2003 that killed 12 people.

Suspicion immediately fell on Jemaah Islamiyah (JI), the Islamist terrorist network with ties to Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda terrorist network that was tied to the 2003 Marriott attack and the 2002 Bali nightclub bombings that killed more than 200 people, mostly foreign tourists.

Hendarso said the type of explosives found were similar to those found in a recent raid on a home in West Java that was linked to Noordin Top, a suspected leader of a small JI splinter group that espouses the use of large-scale terror attacks to push for the establishment of Islamic states in the region.

So far, there has been no claim of responsibility for the latest attack. Al Jazeera English reported that it was in touch with a JI member who denied any involvement in Friday's hotel bombings. Watch analysts discuss potential suspects »

The fatalities include New Zealand national Timothy David McKay, 60, according to Indonesia's state-run Antara New Agency. McKay -- the CEO of Holcim Indonesia, a cement company -- was at the hotel for a breakfast meeting with fellow prominent business leaders, the Jakarta Post reported.

Indonesian media also reported that two directors of Freeport Indonesia, the largest copper and gold mining company in Indonesia, were wounded in the attacks on the two hotels.

Britain's Manchester United soccer team canceled its trip to Indonesia after the bombing. It had been scheduled to check into the Ritz-Carlton on Sunday...

Emergency numbers

Marriott/Ritz-Carlton Family Assistance Hotline
+1 8662114610
+14023903265

..."

--CNN's Kathy Quiano and Andy Saputra in Jakarta, Indonesia contributed to this report.

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When I just thought how I'm longing to go back to Jakarta as soon as I graduate.. As Kevin Rudd said on tv..we're dealing with very very ugly people, and I'll add to his pers conference statement, this act is awefully disgusting!

Jakarta The Sin City ..or the soulful city

Welcome to Jakarta,

If people call Vegas as sin city, then Jakarta would be Asia's Sin City... The sparkling dangerous night life, the lifestyle, the contrast difference between social status, the food, fashion, politics, pollution...everything crumpled into one city. J A K A R T A.

Once colonized by the Dutch, it has grown into a metropolitan Muslim city inhabited by people from many racial backgrounds. Good looking people of a mix between westerners and indos are often found on billboards or TVs and cinemas..heaps of them.

The good thing of being away from my mum in this city is the habit of not eating a lot. Media pressure for girls are enormous. Getting slim in Asian standard is so encouraged. Everywhere you go, rarely you see chubby chicks, I am considered chubby here ( Asian standard ). Scared of driving in the crazy roads of Jakarta, it prevents me to just wander off to some eating places and eat whatever I want. It isn't like Perth where I can just drive off to Fast Ed or 24hr McD without having the need to ask for anyone's permission and to watch out for snakey annoying motorcycles.

But I like it here. The city has a lot to offer in terms of entertainment and night life, but I just have to watch out...it's a sin city where everything is possible. I have to guard myself..and if I can control myself, life here can be good. It's just sad how racial discrimination still exist, but I guess I can't just pity myself.. I have to focus and get what I want, screw racial discrimination.. Agnes can beat it.

So far, this is my impression of my hometown...No matter how long I've been educated in Australia, I always want to go back to Jakarta...to the Sin City.


Umm...maybe I'll just change it to the Soulful City :p~