Farewell, Mba Wati

Dating back somewhere around last year, Mba Wati started working in our house as a full-time maid. She's quite smart.. she understand some english, she's fast, she's one of the smartest maids ever working for us. She used to work in Singapore and I guess that trained her well.
As always, first impressions on maids can never be trusted. I didn't have much good impression on her when she started off working for us. Only up until mid last year, I finally realized how good hearted she is.

She worked and worked, and even talked to my mom like friends. I've always kept my distance with maids in my house, plus I've been working in office and our convo was basically a flat "Could you please get this ironed for me?" "Could you please get my laptop upstairs?" "Could you.." "Could you please.." That's pretty much it. But for my mom and my sis, daily conversation and exposure with the maids is more than just asking for help. Mbak Wati had been helping mom and sis in my sis home-industry baking thingy as well.. She'd been a great...great help to them. I could see there's a bond between Mbak Wati, mom, and sis...

And last week she felt ill..we thought it's just fever..but it's not.. ever since the flood thing, she became sick..and we thought it might be scarlet fever, so mom brought her to Siloam Hospital near our area. Only yesterday we found out that she's diagnosed with Leukemia..

......

Mom was on her way to fit her dresses but she decided to ignore all that and rushed to the hospital.. I had meetings to attend to and I was just waiting for the news ..hopefully some good news.. I wasn't all soaked up in tears yesterday because I had not seen her for a week..and I didn't know how bad it was.. But last night I called her and prayed for her.. not long after my sis told me that we don't know how long she'd last... Her thrombocyte doesn't go up.. it keeps on failing.. Only ysterday I realized how much of a great help she had been for us.. All the memories flash back like a short movie clip..

So this morning I decided to see her.. she's in 5505..her name's written as Jazilawati.. (godzilla ? xD). She looked tired, her hair in a mess..her hair looked like a godzilla..and her body is swollen..Why only now my heart is wrenched..I feel pain and I'm just sooo sad for her..because mom decided not to tell her what happened.. She just told Mba Wati to take a lot of rest, forever she can't work too hard, and just be happy back in her Village later on..Anyway, mom brought Nasi Padang for mba tati, mba wati's little brother, mom, and myself. So we spent our lunch at Mba Wati's corner. Mba Wati didn't have appetite to eat..but I could see she's getting chubbier and my mom teased her that she's having a fun time in the hospital, sleep all the time, and that's why she got chubby. Mba Wati's brother also has a nice face..they look a like.. He's going to bring her home.. And I don't know when I will be able to see Mba Wati again..

Her last message to me was 'Quicker.." I was about to leave for work.. and she said "Quicker.." with a teasing smile.. and I replied in confusion 'Quicker?" and she said "iyaaa.. get married sooon laa.." hahaha and I laughed, we all giggled.. and I told her "Mba Wati pray for my relationship ya.. hopefully in 3 years time." and mom joked "And later Mba Wati will be the babysitter for the baby hahaha" and I replied "Ahh Mba Wati is going to be happy in her village..later if she decides to work pun, she wouldn't want to take care a baby ya?" and she replied "Noooo lah.. I'm happier if i can become a babysitter.." But that wrenched my heart..

Will she be alive..in 3 years time...Will she be here... It's true what they all say... you don't know what you've got until you lose it.... We just lost one of the best maid ..best hearted worker, I'm sure my mom and sis are feeling worse than I do...they'd been each other's constant companion everyday.. Mba Wati knows our family problems..every single details of our lives..She's been loyal to us and she's been like someone my mom and sis can really rely on..Hopefully the loss is just temporarily. yes..hopefully it's just temporary.. Well, if she decided to stay in her village and take care of her rice paddy, that's fine ..we'd be happy for her.. as long as she can breathe easily, as long as she's healted.. and healthy for a longg time..

God, she's only 31 years old... Please give her more time ..more years.. to be blessings for so many people like how she's blessed my family.. Please don't take away her life just yett...

I love you... a lot.

When you stare me with your loving eyes..
My mind went sweetly numb..
When you said how much you love me..
My heart sunk deeply..

When I showed you my heart's wounds..
You kissed them with your loving nature..

You are a God-sent man..
You've shown me love..
You're willing to fix this troubled heart..
And without hesitance you accept my flaws..
And love me even more each day..

Thank you for loving me..
Thank you for teaching me how to love..
Thank you for your tears..
Thank you for willing to fight for this relationship..
I'm so grateful to have you with me..

Thank you for giving your heart to me..
No, I won't break it, nor will I leave you...
You're too precious..
Too ...you're just too good to be true but I'm glad you're real in my life..

I love you....a lot.

my mid-day prayer

Dear God,

It's raining heavily outside..
So nice actually to get myself back to sleep :P..
But I have meeting to attend to this afternoon..
God, please be in charge in the meeting..
Lord God, I ask for your favor on our side..
Let your strength be made perfect in our weakness..
We can not go further without Your miracle..

And apart from that..
There are things I don't understand just yet
Family issues come to no end ..
But I can only speak of my faith in You..
God, please cover my family with Your love, Your grace, and protect us from all evil..

And again my mind is back to where my heart calls..
Lord God, I cannot thank you enough for him..
I know he loves me this much..
And I love him dearly...
Thank you for sending him into my life..
Thank you for making everything ..so beautiful..

I'm so stupid without Your guidance , God..
Thank you for giving me all the obvious signs..
Thank you for making me a better Agnes..through him..his life..his mindset..his character..his personality..

I can't wait for tomorrow..
God please take care of him.
I miss him loads.

xoxo

I Thank God For You

I thank God for you...
I can't stop thinking..can't stop smiling.. can't stop bemused..
How much you love me..how much you care for me..

Thank you for making me feel so loved..
feel so special..

I thank God for sending you to my life..
I really wanna hug you right now..
You're like..a God-sent angel to me..
You're like.. a shining Firework that never dies..
You're like..the protector God send to take care of me..
You make me feel so safe in ur arms..
I really miss you..and I want to see you..

My Special Day

Dear God,

Thank you for this special day..
Thank you for giving me the best present at 12 midnight..
Thank you for sending him in my life..
Thank you for his words of assurance..
Thank you for letting him care..for allowing our hearts to blossom like flowers in spring..

Thank you as well for the new year's gift..
Thank you for making dad holding mom's hand..
Thank you that I can see at least a glimpse of light..

God..

Thank you for your grace in my life..

This year, may be the best year, much better than last year..
This year, I will become a much better person..
This year, I will be blessings to many more people..
This year, You will give us breakthrough Lord..in terms of work and family life..
This year, You will help realize my goal for the firm's expansion..
This year, miracles upon miracles shall happen..and Your Name shall be glorified..
This year, my life will become testimony to others on how good You have been to me..
This year, Your favor is real upon me, so real ..
This year, You guide me through my love life, career life, finance, and mood..
Whatever that's gonna happen this year, Your hands are imprinted on it..
I know that when I allow God to write my life, it's gonna be awesome.

It's gonna be such an awesome yearrrrr :D