Asking God with NO DOUBT

Good Morning Blog,

This morning verse is taken from James 1:5-6 about doubts when asking God - His favor.

It says "if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind."

What I get from this verse is that if we ask God for His wisdom, His favor, you know..revelations upon revelations, we should be firm in our faith as well. When we ask, we should not doubt. It says if we doubted, then we were easily shaken by the wind, we would be easily driven by our circumstances that might seem too impossible for miracle to happen.

It really answers my worry this morning. The moment I woke up, I thought of work straightaway, I thought of the uncertainty I might face later, and yet I have been asking God to really be on my side because I'm so scared - to be honest -. And All these times I've been asking for God's wisdom, but whenever things turned out bad/beyond my expectation, I would worry so much and stressed out about it. This verse talks to me to be confident in God, to be confident in what God can do to turn my mistakes around, to hinder me from complicated situations because He's going to give me His wisdom generously and His wisdom is all that I need to survive in this world. His wisdom is the start of everything, it's the cornerstone of my career, my love life, my family life, my speech, my works, my gestures, everything! God doesn't want me to doubt His power, God doesn't like me using my own strength and forgetting that everything is from God.

Btw, the meeting went quite well last Friday..quite a surprise. Thank you God!!!

All From God

I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way—with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge— 1 Corinthians 1:4-5 NIV

Good Morning Blog,

Today's devotion comes from this particular verse. I had to make a quick one because I'm going for a really big meeting very very soon..in probably 5 to 10minutes from now.

From this verse, I learnt that all my speech, the ones that bring motivation, the good ones ofcourse come from God. Enriched by God. All of my knowledge and all of my speech are from God and that is because God's grace is sufficient in my life. I am nothing. I am just like a dust in the wind. But God took me in and made me special. He made me a life of purpose. He made my life BIG. All that I have, all of my talents are not mine, they're of God's - planting those skills, those talents in me -very particularly- so I can make them of good use, so I can use them to glorify His Name, so I can use them to help others.

Dear God,

Today's meeting belongs to You. My speech belongs to You, my knowledge belongs to You. I know You will take care of the meeting, I know You will take in charge and help us. God let Your will be done in the meeting, and let Your will be done in my life.


Amen.

B R A N D E D B A G S

Branded bags don't define my life.

Branded bags don't define my happiness.

Branded bags are just....bags!

..With some nice touch to it, with some very very good material glued and stitched to each other, with some lovely smart design creation...Yes to me, some of them look beautiful..But again, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. 

..And I'm gonna say this..that..as much as branded bags seem so luxuriously exclusive, it does not define our class in God's eyes. And if I get married one day and my husband is not as rich as some World's top billionaire who could buy me 5 branded bags in a month or sth, I don't care..seriously. I'd rather save my savings for other things. I'd rather have my husband save his money for our kids' school fee. I'd rather use the same 5 bags over and over again, but I know I have a good home, I know my husband and kids are well taken care of, and I could do some help saving our income for future project investments.

It's about those branded bags that people here in Jakarta are mad about..that I'm quite sick of. 

I mean, they really could go mad about those pretty bags and act like their bags.

In their eyes, their branded bags are like ..the superficial expensive elegant thing and they transform their make up , their style, the way they walk, the way they pose to meet up with the bags' standard/expectation. One question: what if those bags are taken away ? Or, what if your husband later, can't buy you bags no more? Bags have sadly define so many people's life...women..especially...

Seriously.. I'd rather be who I am. It's not me who's going to fit the bag's image, but the bag is going to fit my image. I think..if you're pretty on the inside, you'll look pretty on the outside, despite those bags. You should be the one who shine more than your bags.

Truthfully I dislike faux branded bags..that's like..cheating, but oh well, it's people's choice. I prefer buying the original ones, even if it's second hand it doesn't matter as long as it's original. But buying those bags are not because I want to raise up my lifestyle or something, but it's about function. Like say, I buy them because they're of excellent quality, very nice design, and very useful in many occasions. I don't buy them and pose like "Hey, I just bought this, look, I can buy this expensive thing! I'm so rich! I have a rich papa!" No No No.. in my eyes, they do look good and if I have the spare money, why not? If I don't then I won't borrow anyone's money just to buy branded bags.

Even if those bags are not expensive, I would still buy if: materials excellent, very nice design, and very useful/ versatile. 

To me what's important when choosing a bag also is: it has to meet my personality, and not the other way round.

Okay, enough screaming out my thoughts on branded bags and how I'm quite sick hearing and looking at people comparing their bags to their friends/colleagues/people in the mall. That's like..seriously, the least important thing anyone should do (ofcourse I say this because I'm not much of a big fan of branded bags - just some personal opinion and life principles here).

My Life Progress So Far

Dear God and Blog,

It's been 4 months and counting to 5 months of relationship with my H. :).
I cannot thank God enough for bringing me to him. The fact that he showed up at the right time, with the right character and loving heart to me, I'm just speechlesss. God has really made me speechless... This guy loves me without boundaries.. I'm currently suffering from measles..sucks.. but despite of my swollen ugly face and red dots skin, he still hugs me, holds my hand, and even ask me to plant a kiss on his cheek..He's not worried he'll get sick..and it doesn't turn him off seeing my sick body.. He even massage my feet...God, where else can I found such a guy???

He loves me to the core.. I can see that now.. He's been telling me that he loves me too much but I was like..yeah okayy ..and now this is the proof of his love to me.. taking care of me when I'm sick and looking horrible..He's tired from work and other daily chores , yet he still manages to find time to take care of me..He still wants to mingle with my family.. God..thank you for showing Your love through him..thank you for showing me how much a true love can give...

God I love this man of Yours..

And in terms of my fellowship with my friends.. I thank God for putting me in FUSE. Not just that they're mutual friends of me and H, but this is a Christian community where we could really grow together as a family. I have been involved as a worship leader and H has been involved as the guitarist..it's fun and really enjoyable as a couple, to be able to serve God in the same community, where we can really call this our ministry.

As for my family, I'm still praying over it.. It's not as bad as before but I believe God hears the brokenhearted :) ..I don't know how..i'm too stupid to digest God's plan for this family but all i know and i believe is God will never abandon my family and he's doing the impossible for men. He's shaping my family in such a way, doesn't matter how long it may take, but he's shaping it according to his wonderful plan full of goodness, full of mercy, humility, and joy.

As for my work, I have to admit I'm kind of overwhelmed with my tasks.. I do have dreams that haven't been realized yet..and I'm still praying for them..

I want to open up a bakery stall for mom and sis..
I want to do well in property..
I want to publish my songs..
I want to have my charity organization..
I want to write a book..
I want to raise my kids and have a happy family..

So far..the measles still bothering me..but I guess sick is the only time I can get rest..
So I'm about to read Robert Kiyosaki's book..plus watching movie from bro's laptop..
so itchyyyy..

God..I need a speedy recovery...

When work meets friends..

There will always be that awkward moments when friends are using your service. Fee negotiating, and stuffs.. How I wish I don't have to deal with such delicate matter.. But I have to.. It's part of promoting my works and commitment and show my friends my professionalism.. But it's not easy..not as easy as it sounds..hmmmm..

Anyway,

Thank you God for this beautiful morning..
Let Your favor be upon me..
May Your mercy and grace follows me wherever I go.
Please forgive my wrongdoings..
Let me be Your intercessor, God.
Amen.

Mr Lu

4 days ago marked our official date ..of our relationship.. ;)

He said it all in Puncak Pass right after we watched sunset together and finished our delicious Cheese Panekoek.. It was a beautiful moment, the sky was favouring on us..and I thank God for his loving being..for his wonderful expressions and..for him coming in and coloring my life beautifully.

Farewell, Mba Wati

Dating back somewhere around last year, Mba Wati started working in our house as a full-time maid. She's quite smart.. she understand some english, she's fast, she's one of the smartest maids ever working for us. She used to work in Singapore and I guess that trained her well.
As always, first impressions on maids can never be trusted. I didn't have much good impression on her when she started off working for us. Only up until mid last year, I finally realized how good hearted she is.

She worked and worked, and even talked to my mom like friends. I've always kept my distance with maids in my house, plus I've been working in office and our convo was basically a flat "Could you please get this ironed for me?" "Could you please get my laptop upstairs?" "Could you.." "Could you please.." That's pretty much it. But for my mom and my sis, daily conversation and exposure with the maids is more than just asking for help. Mbak Wati had been helping mom and sis in my sis home-industry baking thingy as well.. She'd been a great...great help to them. I could see there's a bond between Mbak Wati, mom, and sis...

And last week she felt ill..we thought it's just fever..but it's not.. ever since the flood thing, she became sick..and we thought it might be scarlet fever, so mom brought her to Siloam Hospital near our area. Only yesterday we found out that she's diagnosed with Leukemia..

......

Mom was on her way to fit her dresses but she decided to ignore all that and rushed to the hospital.. I had meetings to attend to and I was just waiting for the news ..hopefully some good news.. I wasn't all soaked up in tears yesterday because I had not seen her for a week..and I didn't know how bad it was.. But last night I called her and prayed for her.. not long after my sis told me that we don't know how long she'd last... Her thrombocyte doesn't go up.. it keeps on failing.. Only ysterday I realized how much of a great help she had been for us.. All the memories flash back like a short movie clip..

So this morning I decided to see her.. she's in 5505..her name's written as Jazilawati.. (godzilla ? xD). She looked tired, her hair in a mess..her hair looked like a godzilla..and her body is swollen..Why only now my heart is wrenched..I feel pain and I'm just sooo sad for her..because mom decided not to tell her what happened.. She just told Mba Wati to take a lot of rest, forever she can't work too hard, and just be happy back in her Village later on..Anyway, mom brought Nasi Padang for mba tati, mba wati's little brother, mom, and myself. So we spent our lunch at Mba Wati's corner. Mba Wati didn't have appetite to eat..but I could see she's getting chubbier and my mom teased her that she's having a fun time in the hospital, sleep all the time, and that's why she got chubby. Mba Wati's brother also has a nice face..they look a like.. He's going to bring her home.. And I don't know when I will be able to see Mba Wati again..

Her last message to me was 'Quicker.." I was about to leave for work.. and she said "Quicker.." with a teasing smile.. and I replied in confusion 'Quicker?" and she said "iyaaa.. get married sooon laa.." hahaha and I laughed, we all giggled.. and I told her "Mba Wati pray for my relationship ya.. hopefully in 3 years time." and mom joked "And later Mba Wati will be the babysitter for the baby hahaha" and I replied "Ahh Mba Wati is going to be happy in her village..later if she decides to work pun, she wouldn't want to take care a baby ya?" and she replied "Noooo lah.. I'm happier if i can become a babysitter.." But that wrenched my heart..

Will she be alive..in 3 years time...Will she be here... It's true what they all say... you don't know what you've got until you lose it.... We just lost one of the best maid ..best hearted worker, I'm sure my mom and sis are feeling worse than I do...they'd been each other's constant companion everyday.. Mba Wati knows our family problems..every single details of our lives..She's been loyal to us and she's been like someone my mom and sis can really rely on..Hopefully the loss is just temporarily. yes..hopefully it's just temporary.. Well, if she decided to stay in her village and take care of her rice paddy, that's fine ..we'd be happy for her.. as long as she can breathe easily, as long as she's healted.. and healthy for a longg time..

God, she's only 31 years old... Please give her more time ..more years.. to be blessings for so many people like how she's blessed my family.. Please don't take away her life just yett...

I love you... a lot.

When you stare me with your loving eyes..
My mind went sweetly numb..
When you said how much you love me..
My heart sunk deeply..

When I showed you my heart's wounds..
You kissed them with your loving nature..

You are a God-sent man..
You've shown me love..
You're willing to fix this troubled heart..
And without hesitance you accept my flaws..
And love me even more each day..

Thank you for loving me..
Thank you for teaching me how to love..
Thank you for your tears..
Thank you for willing to fight for this relationship..
I'm so grateful to have you with me..

Thank you for giving your heart to me..
No, I won't break it, nor will I leave you...
You're too precious..
Too ...you're just too good to be true but I'm glad you're real in my life..

I love you....a lot.

my mid-day prayer

Dear God,

It's raining heavily outside..
So nice actually to get myself back to sleep :P..
But I have meeting to attend to this afternoon..
God, please be in charge in the meeting..
Lord God, I ask for your favor on our side..
Let your strength be made perfect in our weakness..
We can not go further without Your miracle..

And apart from that..
There are things I don't understand just yet
Family issues come to no end ..
But I can only speak of my faith in You..
God, please cover my family with Your love, Your grace, and protect us from all evil..

And again my mind is back to where my heart calls..
Lord God, I cannot thank you enough for him..
I know he loves me this much..
And I love him dearly...
Thank you for sending him into my life..
Thank you for making everything ..so beautiful..

I'm so stupid without Your guidance , God..
Thank you for giving me all the obvious signs..
Thank you for making me a better Agnes..through him..his life..his mindset..his character..his personality..

I can't wait for tomorrow..
God please take care of him.
I miss him loads.

xoxo

I Thank God For You

I thank God for you...
I can't stop thinking..can't stop smiling.. can't stop bemused..
How much you love me..how much you care for me..

Thank you for making me feel so loved..
feel so special..

I thank God for sending you to my life..
I really wanna hug you right now..
You're like..a God-sent angel to me..
You're like.. a shining Firework that never dies..
You're like..the protector God send to take care of me..
You make me feel so safe in ur arms..
I really miss you..and I want to see you..

My Special Day

Dear God,

Thank you for this special day..
Thank you for giving me the best present at 12 midnight..
Thank you for sending him in my life..
Thank you for his words of assurance..
Thank you for letting him care..for allowing our hearts to blossom like flowers in spring..

Thank you as well for the new year's gift..
Thank you for making dad holding mom's hand..
Thank you that I can see at least a glimpse of light..

God..

Thank you for your grace in my life..

This year, may be the best year, much better than last year..
This year, I will become a much better person..
This year, I will be blessings to many more people..
This year, You will give us breakthrough Lord..in terms of work and family life..
This year, You will help realize my goal for the firm's expansion..
This year, miracles upon miracles shall happen..and Your Name shall be glorified..
This year, my life will become testimony to others on how good You have been to me..
This year, Your favor is real upon me, so real ..
This year, You guide me through my love life, career life, finance, and mood..
Whatever that's gonna happen this year, Your hands are imprinted on it..
I know that when I allow God to write my life, it's gonna be awesome.

It's gonna be such an awesome yearrrrr :D