Him?

No mother, he's not my type...

I know he looks pro in his doctor suit, I know he has good salary, I know he looks like a gentleman, I know you know his family well, but my heart seems to say "He's not the one."

Maybe he is? I don't know, I don't know him that well. It feels like we both are so different. I like to be forever young at heart, which might be considered as immature in his eyes... Oh well, too bad. I don't feel right standing beside him... It seems like we're just not meant for each other..

Sometimes when you stand beside each other, you can feel some kind of comfort, or some kind of total discomfort... Aha..it's like puzzle pieces!

Sometimes the pieces look like they match but when you put them together, they don't actually match. Sometimes you can see clearly pieces that just aren't made for each other. That guy you like, mother, is like the guy whom you can see clearly, we aren't made for each other. I just can't see it. discomfort, mother.

He seems to be too....mature.. and soo... serious... So 'marriage-family' oriented.. I'm not ready for that. True I'm looking for a guy who I'm gonna marry, but he's a bit too serious. I still want to have fun for at least another 3 years.

But I don't want to jinx it... I may say I don't like him now, but if I do like him in the future, my puzzle pieces theory is then proven wrong.

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Enough about the doctor, now it's about the bio-chem guy. This guy.. been very persistent on pursuing me, but as for now, I can't see my future with him. I was very much insulted when he insulted the course I took in uni. So what if he took bio-chem? So what if I'm a designer? He hasn't got a job yet and it's been a year since he graduated, so dude, don't be too proud!

I might sound mean and cruel, but I have never liked this guy. I loved being his close friend, but nothing more than that. He's too proud and his words can be sooo hurtful. I told him these back then, but some people just don't listen.

Honestly, I had a crush on a different guy when this bio-chem guy was my close friend. So how could I have feelings for this bio-chem guy when I was so attracted to that other guy? I'm not a two-timer.

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And for this time being, I'd like to take a break from my roller coaster love life. I'll start fresh and new next year. I hope I can meet 'the one' by next year ;p, whoever he is. Surely God knows my type [realistic ofcourse].

Summer's Looking Good

Summer's looking good!

Well, packing-up is a task that will surely consume a lot of my energy, but I'm still happy nevertheless.

I don't know what awaits me in Jakarta... But Lord, I pray so that whatever life has in store for me, it's going to be a good one! Real good one!

I know moving back to Jakarta is like walking on water... The journey is about to begin. Journey of Faith. I shall update about this later on.

In the meanwhile, I'm enjoying myself lazying around, going to city, cafes, packing-up, and excercising. Dang it feels good!! It's been awhile I haven't been this healthy and this happy.


Ouhhh..and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Briantorotorotorototototototototsibontot :P~~ I pray to God so you'll grow up to be a charming man of God and a prominent businessman hahahah :P

Summer's looking good!

Lose to Gain

A or B?

A = risking B stuff

B = noo.. A is part of my dream :(


A is more like selfish option, but it is quite beneficial for me and I'm sure I'm gonna likin it much. But I'm risking the happiness of some people and there might be no turning back...

If I do turn a blind eye on A, I would start B with a sadness that my dreams in A are shattered... Because I know by choosing B, I have to prepare myself for a tough life-after-uni. It will be a shock for me.

B is an option where the road map is all jumbling apart. It's like solving a riddle that can be very frustrating. Am I ready for this? Everyday I will be daunted with issues and issues and issues, what will I become? Will I be the same Agnes? Will I grow colder and colder? Will I still have compassion? I know I have to see the positive, but it's very hard to see it now...


At the moment, I'm even considering option C.

C = running for myself. Selfish and uncertain conditions ahead.


B is the absolute choice if i want to experience some walking on the water... God, is this the right choice? I'm heavy on this choice, but myself and I want to run away to option A or C ... Am I supposed to follow my selfish dreams or sacrifice them? Lose to Gain?

SICK OF IT!!!

WHAT IS THIS??

I'M SICK OF IT. YOU: STOP IT! WHERE'S GOD WITHIN YOU WHOM YOU CLAIM TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW IT'S BEEN CRASHING ME DOWN?

GOD YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYED I AM RIGHT NOW AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO CALM MYSELF DOWN.

GOD, ALL I CAN DO IS JUST TO SURRENDER AND LEAVE U TO IT................. :~(

I can see the light

Ahh finally thesis over (well..a presentation to go), and exam's done, now i'm officially a part-timer procrastinator.

I won't write here about substantial (new vocab from Kimmy, thanks!) stuffs at these times of the week.. I'll just write about my usual-boring love interest in which I knew that a few of my readers would be so kepo to find out, so I won't state anything in particular which may trigger suspicion. Respect anonymity (or however you should spell that)!

It's so tiresome for me because it's so hard to melt my heart to love. I surely often known as a cold-hearted girl who think like a man (sometimes), so it's as if my heart is made out of steel. To melt it? Surely it'll take some ingenious invention! So a guy who attracts me surely has something to admire :P. He's charming! I always like charming guys. Not necessarily good looking, but his smile is calming. There's something about him when he enters the place. Doesn't necessarily stand out, but you can sense a mysteriousness in him, which makes you feel like you want to know him more and indulge yourself in his art. In short sentence, he is attractive. It's been a while and he's still attractive.


That's all for my love life at the moment.

My dreams somehow have been haunted by scenes of a number of guys whom I felt have syndicated their interest in me (not that I feel myself as an amiable young woman or anything, and I have no clue whatsoever as to why they liked me in the first place). But it's so weird, I certainly feel that I'm in no desperate mood because my first priority is not to have a boyfriend, but to loose weight!

As for the light: I can see the light of liberating myself out from uni world.. ahhhhhhhhh!

Workplace? that's something to think about at the start of next year, not now! Now? Let's have fun! - packing is fun -.