A Brand New Life

For the past God-knows-how-long months I've been meddling in this awful situation .. I've started to discover who I am...

I've learnt my limitations, I've learnt that when I'm the most upset- that is who I really am..That's who Agnes is.

The trip to Bali - Perth - Melbourne have opened my mind *somehow* in trying to finding ME in me.

I realized I have been whining a lot because I just simply can't face what's on my plate right now.. Then so many things have freshened my heart and soul that now.. I hope..really hope I can control myself before I swear and whine.

So many people's attitudes and values can be learnt from the trip. It's about how to be a better Agnes and what values to hold to:*these are the words they could've said to me/how I interpret it myself by observing them*

Shinya: Live a carefree life! Enjoy the ride! But keep your manners with you.
My Brother: Have some sense of humor..A good friend for the soul.
My Sister: Just be jollyyy!
Cindy: Stay faithful with God and do good works in His Name..Wonderful outcomes!
Claris: Loose weight to the ideal kg..Do not be tempted so easily!
Kim: First, let's see who we are in the mirror before judging others doing good / bad stuffs.
Kelvin: Forever Young ..Age is just numbers.
Larry: Just pray and endure..Only God can change people's hearts
Molen: You don't need 2 years of courtship before you get married.. 2 months sound good when you've been friends with the guy all these years.

I've learnt loads from books and parents of course, and just now.. The wife of my senior pastor (from my mum's church in Jakarta) whom I sought counsel to, have given me comforting words of wisdom..which I would like to share to those who are reading this:

About My Current Challenging Situation:
Do not plunge myself too deep to "the situation".. And if I am close to God and stay faithful, there's no such thing as descendant's curse following me around because the curse has been broken by His blood and mercy. So, keep holding on to God's righteous hand!

About The Situation (the awful case I'm experiencing right now) Affecting Personal Love Story (Who Could Back-Off and Leaving me Astray):
God is the God who provides. He has the right guy in store for me . All I have to do is to just be myself and believe that God is preparing and equipping him right now (And God is preparing me as well..for him). It's my love story anyway - not anyone else - not even my parents.

Thank you God for the insights.. :)

I know I will have to face reality 2morrow .. but with these insights in hand, I shall hold 'em tight.. Come on Agnes, you've graduated, this is your new life!!

In Australia

What can I say about this barren land?

Although it's been nine and a half years living in this kangaroo continent, I don't really miss it ... Am I too cold-hearted? Hmm maybe I am..

I love my friends in Perth...But there's something about me that just doesn't click with the city.

Hmmm....Aniwae, I'm back here in Perth...Love the sky..Perth's sky is the best I've ever seen in my entire life..Amazing strokes of clouds, sun illuminates brightly ...The smell of grass at dawn..

Perth's nature is raw .. but soothing...

I graduated yesterday @ Curtin Bentley..The ceremony was awesome (although the mid part was quite bohring..) But I love the ending..starting from the girl who sang Time To Say Goodbye to the fireworks and concluded with Black Eyed Peas song "I gotta Feeling"..uu yeah..That's the highlight of the ceremony!

Currently my mind is still being occupied with so many thoughts and plans...

I'm recovering from flu..I guess Perth's clean air + medicine have helped me through the sickness...which is good!

Australia ... Perth ... thank you for the past nine and a half years... I've grown up here.. More or less you've shaped who I am today... Your education style, Your people, Your lifestyle, and Your culture have moulded me in every possible way - making me a better person..Much better than what I could've been if I stayed elsewhere. Mostly I've learnt how to appreciate and love different cultures. You've opened up my mind and filled it with goodness and fairness of mankind.

Thank you.

The tattooed guy

What is wrong with me?

I have totally disbanded all the values/principles I have upon what a guy should be like!!!

I met this dude who's actually plain looking, but actually very charming.

Maybe because of his amazing politeness, his posture, and his tattoo..

And ofcourse his lifestyle is awesome!Surfing + martial arts?? You're awesome, dude!

For years before, I thought a good man should be: no tattoo, no drinkie, no smokiie, perfectionist, family guy, blahblablah.. But hey.. all that don't guarantee him as a good man deep down inside, right?

So, let's cross out the tatoo part.. Now, I don't mind if my later-on-partner has tattoes (as long as they're not scary ones).

Tattoed guy doesn't mean he ain't a nice person. Now I feel like I want to have a tattoo as well..hihih..nah.my parents gonna kill me..eeeeekkk..maybe temporary tattoo will do ;P

TIME TO SLEEP and STOP IMAGINING SO UN-IMPORTANT STUFFS!

Ahhh..Feels Good - NOT

To: ***** *********

Do you know that it feels so good that you were not here?

Do you know that it feels so peaceful without you here?

Do you know that I don't get no more migraine from constant bbm mentioning and analysing your every conduct?

Do you know that I wish you're never here ?

Do you know that although it's so unlikely for you to get out of our life, I always pray everyday for you to realize what you have been contributing to our mess..

Think of your family, appreciate them..love them ... and find your own peace and GET OUT OF HERE.

I know I have been giving you enormous pressure for the past two days, and there's not even a word I ever regret saying in front of you (sarcasm is my best weapon, dear). I'm very much aware that you are very uncomfortable with me. I like it.

Your venom does not work with me, awww, too bad. Tommorow there will be no you, that's why no matter how late I have to stay out of the house today, I will do it...As long as you feel pressured as hell. I don't care whether *** upset with me or whatever lah, I stand for WHAT I BELIEVE!

When I come back from my trip, I will be more prudent and will be a bit impetuous. I will follow my guts, and I shan't hesitate to tell you off in front of people. I'm serious. You just wait.


BREATHEEEE AGNES...breatheee..I'm all well-prepared. >:)

May the force be with me.