note from me

Here's a note from me..

I'm really down...Really really down...

Why do they have to be like that?What about us?Have they forgotten how we feel about it?

God..if I may admit..my soul is hurting badly..and my spirit is crying pain...

***please,please stop it..*****,please stop it..

If no one's here I would've cried like mad..

Can we go back the way we used to be?

To tell you the truTh..-I can go insane if this continues on..




..I don't kno why I'm writing this..

To Mr God again..

Dear Mr God..wherever You are right now...

Please pour wisdom upon her... She's so emotional right now... She wouldn't listen to any of us... God, You are the only one whom she would listen to... Is it too much to ask for You to talk to her in her dream tonight?

Please talk to him in his dream tonight as well.... And *****...

Our strength and capabilities are limited, but Your power is unlimited....


Mr God, they're all Yours.

Him?

No mother, he's not my type...

I know he looks pro in his doctor suit, I know he has good salary, I know he looks like a gentleman, I know you know his family well, but my heart seems to say "He's not the one."

Maybe he is? I don't know, I don't know him that well. It feels like we both are so different. I like to be forever young at heart, which might be considered as immature in his eyes... Oh well, too bad. I don't feel right standing beside him... It seems like we're just not meant for each other..

Sometimes when you stand beside each other, you can feel some kind of comfort, or some kind of total discomfort... Aha..it's like puzzle pieces!

Sometimes the pieces look like they match but when you put them together, they don't actually match. Sometimes you can see clearly pieces that just aren't made for each other. That guy you like, mother, is like the guy whom you can see clearly, we aren't made for each other. I just can't see it. discomfort, mother.

He seems to be too....mature.. and soo... serious... So 'marriage-family' oriented.. I'm not ready for that. True I'm looking for a guy who I'm gonna marry, but he's a bit too serious. I still want to have fun for at least another 3 years.

But I don't want to jinx it... I may say I don't like him now, but if I do like him in the future, my puzzle pieces theory is then proven wrong.

--------------

Enough about the doctor, now it's about the bio-chem guy. This guy.. been very persistent on pursuing me, but as for now, I can't see my future with him. I was very much insulted when he insulted the course I took in uni. So what if he took bio-chem? So what if I'm a designer? He hasn't got a job yet and it's been a year since he graduated, so dude, don't be too proud!

I might sound mean and cruel, but I have never liked this guy. I loved being his close friend, but nothing more than that. He's too proud and his words can be sooo hurtful. I told him these back then, but some people just don't listen.

Honestly, I had a crush on a different guy when this bio-chem guy was my close friend. So how could I have feelings for this bio-chem guy when I was so attracted to that other guy? I'm not a two-timer.

---------------------------------
And for this time being, I'd like to take a break from my roller coaster love life. I'll start fresh and new next year. I hope I can meet 'the one' by next year ;p, whoever he is. Surely God knows my type [realistic ofcourse].

Summer's Looking Good

Summer's looking good!

Well, packing-up is a task that will surely consume a lot of my energy, but I'm still happy nevertheless.

I don't know what awaits me in Jakarta... But Lord, I pray so that whatever life has in store for me, it's going to be a good one! Real good one!

I know moving back to Jakarta is like walking on water... The journey is about to begin. Journey of Faith. I shall update about this later on.

In the meanwhile, I'm enjoying myself lazying around, going to city, cafes, packing-up, and excercising. Dang it feels good!! It's been awhile I haven't been this healthy and this happy.


Ouhhh..and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Briantorotorotorototototototototsibontot :P~~ I pray to God so you'll grow up to be a charming man of God and a prominent businessman hahahah :P

Summer's looking good!

Lose to Gain

A or B?

A = risking B stuff

B = noo.. A is part of my dream :(


A is more like selfish option, but it is quite beneficial for me and I'm sure I'm gonna likin it much. But I'm risking the happiness of some people and there might be no turning back...

If I do turn a blind eye on A, I would start B with a sadness that my dreams in A are shattered... Because I know by choosing B, I have to prepare myself for a tough life-after-uni. It will be a shock for me.

B is an option where the road map is all jumbling apart. It's like solving a riddle that can be very frustrating. Am I ready for this? Everyday I will be daunted with issues and issues and issues, what will I become? Will I be the same Agnes? Will I grow colder and colder? Will I still have compassion? I know I have to see the positive, but it's very hard to see it now...


At the moment, I'm even considering option C.

C = running for myself. Selfish and uncertain conditions ahead.


B is the absolute choice if i want to experience some walking on the water... God, is this the right choice? I'm heavy on this choice, but myself and I want to run away to option A or C ... Am I supposed to follow my selfish dreams or sacrifice them? Lose to Gain?

SICK OF IT!!!

WHAT IS THIS??

I'M SICK OF IT. YOU: STOP IT! WHERE'S GOD WITHIN YOU WHOM YOU CLAIM TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW IT'S BEEN CRASHING ME DOWN?

GOD YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYED I AM RIGHT NOW AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO CALM MYSELF DOWN.

GOD, ALL I CAN DO IS JUST TO SURRENDER AND LEAVE U TO IT................. :~(

I can see the light

Ahh finally thesis over (well..a presentation to go), and exam's done, now i'm officially a part-timer procrastinator.

I won't write here about substantial (new vocab from Kimmy, thanks!) stuffs at these times of the week.. I'll just write about my usual-boring love interest in which I knew that a few of my readers would be so kepo to find out, so I won't state anything in particular which may trigger suspicion. Respect anonymity (or however you should spell that)!

It's so tiresome for me because it's so hard to melt my heart to love. I surely often known as a cold-hearted girl who think like a man (sometimes), so it's as if my heart is made out of steel. To melt it? Surely it'll take some ingenious invention! So a guy who attracts me surely has something to admire :P. He's charming! I always like charming guys. Not necessarily good looking, but his smile is calming. There's something about him when he enters the place. Doesn't necessarily stand out, but you can sense a mysteriousness in him, which makes you feel like you want to know him more and indulge yourself in his art. In short sentence, he is attractive. It's been a while and he's still attractive.


That's all for my love life at the moment.

My dreams somehow have been haunted by scenes of a number of guys whom I felt have syndicated their interest in me (not that I feel myself as an amiable young woman or anything, and I have no clue whatsoever as to why they liked me in the first place). But it's so weird, I certainly feel that I'm in no desperate mood because my first priority is not to have a boyfriend, but to loose weight!

As for the light: I can see the light of liberating myself out from uni world.. ahhhhhhhhh!

Workplace? that's something to think about at the start of next year, not now! Now? Let's have fun! - packing is fun -.

Jak

Here's a ten year old boy named Jak who constantly been a carer for his 42 years old dad Darryn. Darryn has suffered from Motor Neurone Disease and things are getting worse where now he is uncertain how long he's going to live. Six months ago Darryn was still walking although his left arm has infected by the disease. Sadly, the disease has spread into his whole body. Now Darryn is unable to walk and has to sit on a wheel-chair. Even holding a toothbrush feels like holding a brick, he said.

Jak mows the lawn, washes the dishes, does the laundry, bathes his dad, do the groceries shopping, where these are the tasks that most ten years old are avoiding. A neighbour old-lady who have been a witness for years stated that she never heard a single complaint from Jak and finds him extraordinary.

Darryn splits with his wife eight years ago and since then have been living with Jak alone. When Jak goes to school, a carer is sent, however, Darryn relies solely on Jak's help for personal needs. Jak framed a simple note from a boy to his dad saying how he will always love his dad. Darryn still finds it hard to imagine if he doesn't have Jak and how such a boy would do so much for his dad.

Darryn couldn't play basketball and footy with Jak anymore because of the disease. There's no mother, no wife to share the burden with...only his son, Jak.

I found this story so touching when I watched TodayTonight on Channel 7. Extraordinary in deed is Jak. A simple less than 15 minutes presentation on Jak and Darryn have touched my so-often-turns-cold heart. Thank you Jak, you've reminded on what LOVE is all about.

Check out: http://au.todaytonight.yahoo.com/article/5542499/general/young-hero

Walking on 'the' Water has just begun..

You look around
and staring back at you
Another wave of doubt
Will it pull you under
You wonder

What if I'm overtaken
What if I never make it
What if no one's there?
Will you hear my prayer?

When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that He
won't let you go

CHORUS:
So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities
Try to hold to you

But You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all
It takes and you
Can walk on the water too

So get out
And let your fear
fall to the ground

No time to waste
don't wait
and don't you turn
around and miss out

Everything you were made for
Gotta be, I know you're not sure
So you play it safe
Try to run away

If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go

CHORUS

BRIDGE
(Step Out)
Even when it's storming
(Step Out)
Even when you're broken
(Step Out)
Even when your
heart is telling
you, telling you to
give up
(Step Out)
When your hope is stolen
(Step Out)
You can't see where
you're going
You don't have to be afraid

So what are you waiting for?

- http://www.mp3lyrics.org/b/britt-nicole/walk-on-the-water/

S.O.S to Mr.God

Abba Bapa..

You're my Creator, my Saviour whose grace is sufficient and who works in mysterious wonderful ways...
My Sole Refuge, whose wonders I can never fathom...
The Head of this house, The Protector...

On Your feet I bow my knee..

In Your arms I shed tears and pain...

In You I surrender...


------

Studying Outdoor

Who knew doing thesis outdoor under the bright blue sky, greyish white cotton-like clouds, facing sunkist tree, apple tree, mini grapevine, and a giant white pinkish blooming rose - can be so productive.

My mind feels clearer and oh, not to forget a mix match of all songs in my windows media player.

Thank You, God for the beautiful suburbia atmosphere here in Perth, something I would miss when I'm not here anymore..

Longing for December

Longing for December
Thesis is driving me lazy
Time is ticking in speed

Still holding tight to my dear thesis
But often dream about the near future plans

God please grant me imaginative solutions to my project
I shall do my best in this final year of tertiary edu

About to enter a new life after uni
How exciting it must be

I just need to finish thesis and exam
And I'll be jumping like crazy!


End of Year trip, wait for me!

:D

Female's Dignity

How many friendships, relationships, and marriages crashed due to these complicated beings: FEMALE.

How many people tend to hear just from one side of the story because of pity/attraction to these seducing beings: FEMALE.

Why did Adam leave Eden?

Okay, it's not Eve, just the satan, I know I know.

But how easy was it for satan to lure Eve? We (females) aren't better than the Flintstone's era women nor the mother of all female beings. We claim ourselves to be saved by the Lord, the daughters of the Most High, yet we're hand in hand with satan's soft whispers that swim thru our veins, minds and hearts so damn smoothly easy.

Common girls BAD behavioural problems which allow satan to sneak in and swim freely in OUR soul:
- Telling others the secrets of others for the fun of it. Where has trust gone?
- We pulled out a guy's money in his pocket as cheeky as we can so we benefit the most. Where has our dignity gone?
- We break friendships for the sake of a guy. Oh, come on! that's so high-school.
- We break marriages for the sake of money and lust. Karma will soon follow *sigh.
- We spiced up problems, and make conclusion based on one side of the story. Where has justice gone? Don't get involved to deep with her/his personal issues [ for only GOd knows who's Right and Wrong].
- We talk sweet in public to your normal hang-out friends, yet we gossip about them behind their backs. So are we a friend or what?
- We let 10 guys fall for us, get what we want, and leave them. Trust me, they'll leave us before we leave them.
- We know guys' weaknesses, yet we feed them without thinking consequences. We're not helping here at all.
- We think we're the prettiest and the cutest and the smartest and the friendliest. We should wake up and get our act together!
- We compare and contrast ourselves with other girls of who's prettier, who's more talented and so on. If one is more talented, we judge her for being arrogant in displaying her skills [this is just an example]. We too often judge way too quickly without proofs. Where has love and appreciation gone??


We've got to be able to say NO or YES to where our thoughts are leading us! Learn from now before more friendships, relationships, and marriages are torn apart by US.

Let's have some dignity, girls! Tell the world that we aren't taking the fragility of Eve's soul lured by the satan's whisper!

We are taking Eve's spirit of being reliable helpers and every other positive things we can learn from many aspiring Eve's clan representatives throughout the centuries [ Obvious persona: Queen Esther, Ruth of Boaz, Judge Hilda, Mary of Joseph, Queen Victoria of Prince Albert, Mother Teresa, and other influential women across nations].

We Can Make A Difference and Be Aspiring Women!

: )

Dad and Me

My dad hasn't been a warm figure to me.

He wasn't home when I was on my energetic mood ready to play. Late at night, He came home and found me sleeping. He was too tired to think of a convo with his little girl and I was too scared of approaching this stranger - my Dad.

I grew up with a babysitter's love. Mum has loved me dearly through toys and food, whatever money can buy. Dad has loved me dearly through Mum.

Things got ugly. I learnt to hate, I learnt to take sides. And Dad was always the target of all the scars in the family. Blame me? Selfish me? Well, I didn't know him..Is he even part of the family? Is he just the money provider? What's a Dad? Who is Dad? Is Dad important?

We had an ugly big argument when I was just 16. My mouth deserved a nasty slap, but he never did. Since then, I rarely talked to him, it's like having an enemy under the same roof. I hated it.

I thank God for his grace and forgiveness unto my life. As I grow up I've learnt how to love, I've learnt how to be neutral and put myself in Dad's shoes. And Dad never again the target of all the scars in the family. I thought to myself for years with silence but noise in my heart, "If he couldn't find love in the family, he might as well look for it elsewhere." Right? Right. But I had no guts to make the first move until the days came when he texted, phoned me and said "I love you." But it felt so weird and cheeazzy..

I hesitated to reply and just said "Yeah. Ok. Bye."

I envy daddy's girls... Why I couldn't be like them? Mine seemed so far and so cold.

Then I shared my bitter memories with Dad to the "Strawberries" girls and I thank Christine for her light-bulb enlightening advice - write a letter to Dad and just blurted out your heart. If it weren't because of God's voice through her advice, I would never enjoy beautiful moments I'm having now with Dad. I thank Joan for sharing her 'daddy girls' stories and it helped me put back on hope of a restored healthy daddy-daughter relationship.. I thank Fanny as well for her continuous support..if it weren't because her constant noddings I wouldn't be 100% convinced to write the letter straight away that night and sent it a.s.a.p.

Christine suggested me to crunch my pride, for the experience of daddy's love and the restoration gives much greater satisfaction than keeping my nose high. So I crunched it and I'm experiencing a daddy-daughter relationship that's in its healing process.

First thing Dad said when he saw me 2 weeks ago was "Thank you for the letter." he smiled gently, and I pretended like everything's cool (although I actually had no idea what to reply, what to act and so on) :P.

My Dad feels like a different Dad. He makes silly-sometimes-not-funny jokes with me. He discusses with me stuffs he never discussed before. He supports my thoughts and decisions. I have been bewildered, I still can't believe this is the same person, the same Dad I've been having for 22 years.

I said sorry in the letter...I tried to understand his way of thinking but I never could. And now, as I grow up, I began to understand and I started to appreciate his position in the family, admire his characters and I'm just thankful for his coolness, calmness, jayusness and so on.

The main message of the story is to: crunch your pride when it comes to family, because what you'll gain is so much more valuable than what you're holding.

S t a l k

I'm loosing temper on this matter.

Stop stalking me.

It is a shameful act.

Wondering...

Underneath a cloudy gray sky
A bird keeps on trying and try
To equip itself with healthy wings and body

It is trying to fix its scratched right wing
And as time goes by, the wound is in its process of healing
Pleasure to its knowing, it just feels like a great adventure ahead is waiting

So the bird thought the left wing will always be okay
Never in a good shape, but the bird reckon' it's gonna be all right

All right for yesterdays and the cloudy evening
All bad for the night's relentless hail and the coming pouring rain at dawn

Cuddling itself in its little nest
It wonders when it will fly
perfectly underneath the bright blue sky...

Back to the First-Love

The night was quiet, and Hosanna was playing from my Windows Media Player. I prayed to God and asked if there's any special book He wanted me to read for our midnite 'date'. I was getting sleepy, so I grabbed anything that came first to mind and that was the Book of Revelation. Flicking through the chapters, I found chapter 2 as an interesting starting point. The words that jumped and talked to me are:

⁴Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. ⁵Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.(Revelation 2:4-5)

Somehow I felt like I was strucked to the ground from that 'height'. I flashed back a little on the first year of me knowing Jesus. It was back in 2000 and I was so on fire that I could write diary to Him every single night, talked to Him every single day, imagining His presence, communicate with Him just like a little kid, and .. it was in deed a beautiful year between me and God.

Now I have become someone who probably have the 'position' and 'recognition'. Not trying to showing off here and there, but I've heard how people know me as a girl with 'nice voice', or 'piano girl' or 'the good girl', and it's not rare I heard friends saying 'if agnes is playing, what would worry me?' ... Hearing those compliments boosted my self-esteem, but hang on a minute! It seemed like I enjoyed them in the wrong way... at times.

I believe in God's annointing, and I believe God is annointing everyone who seeks up to Him, therefore, God's lampstand is in each everyone of us. But He said it will be removed if I don't repent. Repent and do the things I did when I first know Him...

The things I did: poured my 100% heart to Him, without thinking too much, without thinking too logicly, I accept Him and worship Him truly for who He is. I realised as I grew older, I've learnt how sometimes Bible doesn't really make sense at times, and I've grown to fancy science over religion. This is my pit fall.

Trained in a course where I'm expected to think like a free-thinker, I've begun to question my own Creator's existence and truth. I realised this is my arrogance point. God must have been hurt... After all these amazing years I went through with Him and I'm still questioning Him? After all the attacks against demons, after all the dreams, after all the blessings..... Shame on me! Where is my first-love? Where are those beautiful moments I had with Him back then?

Repent Agnes.. Seek the purest of the pure.. Back to the First-Love. Back to the First Love.

A thought of you

Here's a lyrics which crossed my mind just now for a song which not sure am gonna complete:



I heard someone mentioned his name today...
Why is that everytime I hear his name, my heart beats a little faster...
Although he seems so far...
But I'm still attracted to him...

When will we meet again? I wonder...

So Mr Attractive,

Is it just me or is it true that we mutually like each other?
I have no courage to step forward
I have always been here waiting casting shadows for you

I don't know how many hands have you hold before me
I don't want to know your past love life either
Your past doesn't bother me, because it's you that I like...

This is just a thought of you ...
I thought if we're apart then this feeling would die slowly...
But I think the flame never dies...

This week's manners-lesson are..

1. Don't rely on others...you have to be firm on your own ground and you ought to have manners. If no one responded you, then it's time to cut the topic or change your attitude slightly to adjust the situation. And also, I've been telling this to my brother..he can hang out with others at night, but make sure he knows his place in the crowd. :)

2. DON't COMPLAIN about the food while eating. It's a very bad habit. Especially, if you do try this and that menu but you aren't paying! Be grateful that people are generous enough to let you taste the food..And you can say you're full, but there's no need to say "I've had enough..I don't like it..it's too fullfiling and making my tummy sick.." while others are still eating and paying it at the end of the day..., it just turns off everyone's appetite , seriously. :(

3. Shortage of money: Just say it, no need to hide it. If people ask you to go for expensive dinner and you are short of money, then people would appreciate you more if you say so.. Doesn't it help a lot ?? We can think of alternatives..Coz then we can be on the same boat with you :)

4. Handling women in their PMS period (pre-menstruation): don't trigger their annoying side.

5. Good manners make good impression on you. :D


We all have disputes against family members/etc, but the least we can do is not to be stabbed in the back by friends talking about how bad our conduct is...Knowing our weaknesses and strengths, add that with good manners, we'll be just fine. :)

A Worshiper

23Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. ²⁴God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."(John 4: 23-24)

Lately I've been filling in random quizzes in Facebook and there's one that I did have a go at and it was about God's gifts in you (eg. are you a worshiper / teacher etc) and mine was : a worshiper.

Then about 2 days ago I randomly opened my cute-tiny Bible just to read something.. this technique does not necessarily work all the time, but I was tired at that time and it was 4 am in the morning. So I said to God "God, look, it's not playing hide and seek with you, but I'm just very sleepy and I know any chapter I read is You talking to me this dawn."

So John 4, God was talking to a Samaritan woman, I pictured straightaway how it might had been like back then and those two verses felt like they were emboldened.

And you know what's weirder? Every time I started to read the Bible again, I always got nightmares...One of them was I somehow tried to run away from this evil-looking Chinese dude , and I didn't escape successfully then I woke up. So I didn't read the Bible the next day and I dream normally (no nightmares, just some random dream)...And I tested it again and read the Bible again, and goshh another nightmare!! I don't know about tonight, but maybe it's just ms.evil doesn't like me growing in God...

Well, I guess I have to know exactly where I'm walking on and where my destination is.

God, I'm not worth it, I have so many flaws that I don't think I can be Your worshiper in spirit and in truth...But I know You look deeper down into the purest form of heart and with what I have, with all I am, I shall worship You ... and I hope I can make You smile... that's my prayer.

Let it go

Things happened unexpectedly
Shaken by true reality
You did not plan this, seriously

Awaken from your long dream
Voices traveled fast across the stream
You did not realize this, was shrimp headed

So you ought to let it go, let it go

Till' when is your past going to conquer over your soul
Till' when are you going to roll around on the ground over foul things
Whilst the best is yet to come
Don't just sit down dreaming of Rome

Better a slap in the face than knife to your heart
Better to hurt now than hurt later
The rice is not yet a porridge
For God, it is never too late to change

So you ought to let it go, let it go

Today...

Today is a happy day...

Yesterday..

Yesterday was a happy day

full stop :)

The Man I Adore

While rowing my little boat here on the vast ocean of life,
I think I have been hearing a voice,
Voice that gradually becomes clearer and clearer as I row forward
I think I've been seeing a man in my thoughts as I row this boat alone...

He's the one who has the charm and confidence,
He's the one who has the wisdom and love,
He's the one who has the leadership qualities

I like when he acts cool
I like when he keeps me guessing
I like when he makes me feel I'm the most adorable girl he's ever met

Teasing and laughing are our daily chores
They bring warmth to our lives
Knowing when to give some private space...I respect!

I like when he shares his burden
I like when he listens to my advice
I like when he feels at-home with me in my boat

We do have differences and similarities
Some things are best to be left out at this moment
Negotiation option is always there in the corner

But ain't love about filling in the puzzle?

My boat and his boat equals to a much bigger and stronger boat
And when that happens, I shall be contented
Through trials I shall be strong
Through happiness I shall rejoice

This man I adore is someone who has...
A shoulder for me to lean on,
Hands to hold to,
and a life to share with me

Where is he now,
I don't know
But I can hear his voice
Across the ocean..and he's coming here..

The Upright Highway

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Upright Highway!

¹⁷ The highway of the upright avoids evil;
he who guards his way guards his life. (proverbs 16)

Well..hard it must'v been to guard our ways when we've been trying to stand strong on the forceful wind of evil things...


What happened if you knew the wind is 80km/h with heavy rain (usually!), and you're going for 120km/h....while you're also unsure on how good your driving skill is nor how good your car can take it!?!

In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

What's gonna happen if you continued to drive that night??Yet you're still a newbie :P

² All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD.

So off you drove again , on the highway again and it's a bright afternoon, you're after for some nice lunch-break when you saw a car gets broken down.

Don't you think it's amazing how such little things linked to one another? Yet people think stuffs happen because they're co-incidences.. I don't know about you, but I believe they aren't.
...

³ Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed.

and,
I'd say amen to verse 3!

You have... _ _ _ _ km to HOME .. enjoy the trip! :D


Cheers!

Bambino~

Thanks to a friend who introduced me to Japanese drama series..gosh...now I'm sort of addicted to them..

The last one which I just finished watching it titled Bambino, it's about a chef thing.. basically a 21 year old dude from Fukuoka trying to find his luck in career wise so he went to Tokyo and along the years he struggled his way in finding and achieving his true aspirations and how this actually conflicted with his relationship with his girlfriend... (more info, wikidrama can be a useful guide)

My favorite quote from that movie is:

'you have no right to talk about your dreams, if you can't deal with the things right in front of you.'

This quote was said by a senior chef whom Bambi had a 4-eyes chat with when he complained to the senior chef that he didn't come to Tokyo to be a waiter and served bread for customers. (Basically this enthusiastic naive Ban-Kun *Bambi* was really keen to be a top chef with specialty in Italian cuisine...but he had to be a waiter for a year before the owner decided to move him into the kitchen as a chef)

I was shot to the core... I have so many things right in front of me that I'm still struggling with.. My personal issues, career issues, and yet I'm such a dreamer... I wonder.. If I still dislike certain people, would that mean I'm still not able to deal with the 'things' right in front of me? I know this quote obviously means I have to concentrate on my thesis, deal with it, then I will have the right to my dreams (when putting it into Agnes Patricia monogatari at the moment).

Well, well, that quote surely has been shaping my thoughts lately.. and oh, fyi. I'm currently mind-detoxing myself.. trying to get rid all of the 'dirty' contents (noo.. i don't mean by dirty as in s*x or wahtever you might be assuming right now)...and I'm currently reflecting and comparing myself with Ban-Kun...

The most popular phrase they often put in the series was "Never Give Up."


So I shall not..and the same goes to you. :)

As a person..

As I've noticed of myself along these twenty two years of my life.. I've noticed I have 2 masks which I always wear. 1. serious-cold 2. can go crazy-nuts-go lucky-etc

People who see me wearing the first (1) mask would think I'm an ignorant ungrateful and cold girl, or someone who basically you don't want to know well nor hang out with. Only to those who are close enough to me can see the true (2) mask, which nearly 100% transparent showing everything I have-my personality, my true characters.

You can decide yourself..whether I'm a friend-able person.. honestly honest, these are the key characters of mine:

As a person...

1. I love dreaming and imagining. I like to create my own little world where everything is so light that problems seem to be off my shoulder.
2. I'm generally loyal but hopefully not stupid :P(and am not if something else came up which made me sick / opened my eyes to a better outlook)
3. I have to admit I love romantic stuffs, I love molding beautiful words.. (but just no dodgy helpless romantic poems/try-hard formal proposal which will just turn me off)
4. I love Japanese art of packaging. The content, the wrapping, I just love elegant-neat art of packaging.
5. I'm a thinker. a thinker. a thinker. a thinker. I always think here and there. Seems like everything I think about, it always branches out. Often it drives me nuts.
6. I'm an observer and a helpless reader-mania.. I just love books..I want to buy them ALL !!!
7. I like debate (but there are moments for this..not all the time), and convos which can develop me into a better person.
8. I don't gossip about people often..Only facts and whichever related to me...Just like I don't give details of personal info to many, just to a few whom I gather trust with.

As a person...I have values...

1. I don't like pretending. Pretending a little won't hurt, but if it's more than a little, then me no likey. If I really don't like a person, someone should be able to tell straight away (eg. from my tone.. or from my acts).
2. I'm hard-headed. I may look soft on the outside according to some people, but I tell you deep inside, I'm hard-headed. I would change my view only if I know I would loose in a debate (ie. the other person's points are a lot stronger and more realistic).
3. I tend to deposit 'significant' life experiences which made me what I am today, very very well. Don't forget interest applied. I've buried bad impressions on people, added supporting evidences, and sometimes the grave explodes.
4. I can be sharp as a knife with words if I'm annoyed or someone raises issues which are sensitive to me.
5. I am not a good multitask-er. I'm more of a focus-er.
6. I don't fancy lip-service very much. Pretending to care but not actually care. If I care, I mean it..the word 'love' isn't a word I would say everyday unless I really mean it.
7. I tend to teach people whom I care about (eg. my sis and my bro) : rationalism. liberty. manners (yet it's a cliche my mother always complains about my manners..but this is another story for another time)


8. No matter how bad I might sound to myself or to you... I still believe in Higher Power.. I still believe in God.. I'm just a girl with so many questions to ask..I'm just a girl who wanted to be accepted as I am...I'm just a girl who is breathing love, but still actually suffocating from hatred and painful memories... I hope God isn't bored with my stories because I truly need His guidance.

Whether You Fall - Tracy Bonham

About a year ago, a dear friend of mine sent me this song which she loved so much back then. I thought.. yeah it was alright, it sounded depressing, all minorish and simple.. and I was so much into my bossa-nova addiction.

A year or so has passed, and for some weird reason it was on play in my WMP. I had always clicked my editted playlists and never went random. The song wasn't and still isn't in any of my lists...Till that night about 2-3 days ago, the melody danced through my laptop's speakers and it reminded me so much of the sender (aren't we all like that), and that night, I decided to listen to the lyrics wholeheartedly, letting myself being soaked in the atmosphere of the song... And I was blessed and still is blessed.

Isn't it so true 'whether it's the sunshine, whether it's the rain, doesn't make a difference till you complaint' ...And isn't it true that when we get up is all that matters...the world doesn't care if we fall, but if we get up - it means anything at all. I was enlightened by this song..trully...Thank you, Kim.

Whether You Fall - Tracy Bonham

Whether it's the sunshine whether it's the rain
Doesn't make a difference 'til you complain
Whether it's the water coming in from the roof
Does it piss you off that you're not water proof?

Whether you fall means nothing at all
It's whether you get up it's whether you get up

And you hate the silence as it fills up the room
And there's not much to say to your blushing groom
Maybe all eyes are on you as you finish the race
And the world sees you struggling for last place

Whether you fall means nothing at all
It's whether you get up whether you get up

Inside and Outside

I'm currently battling with weight.. my aim before 25th December is to lose 10kg..

At least I don't eat later than 7.30 :p~~, I can go crazy for breakfast and lunch, but just not after 7.30~.. Probably somewhere around 5-7pm, I can go for a cake or two, but I am disciplining myself of not eating anything above 7.30pm.. (will I survive with this method until the 25th?)

I doubt I'd still be doing this when my parents coming in the next few months..well..an exception I'm making myself for this period would be: to eat considerably healthy.. eg. salmon? salad? or I"m not sure whether I can do this but I'd try and have a go at Greek Salad which practically has no meat whatsoever in it..PURE vege and a lil bit of cheese here and there.

But interestingly enough, a friend's sms was a blessing for me..since I have not thought a lot lately about my relationship with my Creator, all I cared about was how to lose weight and that's it. In the sms he said:

"Luke 11:39-40

³⁹Then the Lord said to him, "Now then, you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. ⁴⁰You foolish people! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also?"

He said the main point is:
What seen outside is not the most important. God also sees deep into our hearts..Good ethics and manners without the right mind-set is void.

"Bring our inner life under God's control and your outer life will naturally reflect him." - Immanuel Franklin

UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay, logicly saying

If no one can not find the Entertainment Book (to find tlp number of a restaurant), then that person or ANYONE FAMILIAR WITH TECHNOLOGY can have some QUICK THINKING and go search the INTERNET, yes? since the laptop has been on for quite some time.. all it takes just: TYPE, ENTER, CLICK!!!!! Searching for stuffs in the Entertainment Book can take quite some time because it's as thick as the bible!

While I was putting on my leggings, I asked a person to please check it out on the net since no one can find where the book is. But the person ..oh my gad.....NO comment. And the other person scolded me for being bossy and bitchy. Who's being bossy and bitchy? if i have 4 long stretch-able arms, I would put on my leggings and search the internet at the same time! THe problem is, the leggings and the laptop ARE NOT IN THE SAME ROOM!

And what's with the all-of-a-sudden complaints about my collection of cards?? my restaurant cards and my hotel cards? i cannot put them in the same card holder? It's my FRIGGIN collection, I can do with whatever I want to do with it!! Nothing has to go your FRIGGIN ways, I'm not a FRIGGIN robot or some 5 year old kid.

Bomb - JW Marriot & Ritz Carlton - MU cancelled

JAKARTA....! I'm dissapointed ....

Most of the summary based from CNN coverage:

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/07/17/indonesia.hotels.explosions/index.html :

The bombings happened this morning before 8am, first in JW Marriot then Ritz Carlton 10 minutes after. So it was said that 2 suicide bombers actually CHECKED into JW Marriot Hotel in Jakarta, predicted on Wednesday and were supposed to check out this Friday. The bomb blew up the hotels' restaurants where glasses were blown out and blood spattered across the ground (according to an eye-witness). It was said that 9 people died and 50 others are wounded. Prominent business man from New Zealand, the CEO of Holcim Indonesia (a cement company) died in the tragedy when he was supposed to have a meeting with his colleagues in Ritz' restaurant. At least about 8 American nationals are among the casualties and a couple of Australians/New Zealanders.

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"...An unexploded bomb was found on the Marriott Hotel's 18th floor where several suspects believed to be linked to the bombings were staying, Hendarso said.

Yudhoyono warned that it is still too early to determine who was behind the attacks.

"This terrorist action is thought to be the work of a terrorist group, even though it is not certain whether this is the terrorism which we are familiar with up until now," the recently reelected president said

Five were killed at the Ritz-Carlton, and one was killed at the Marriott, police spokesman Inspector General Nanan Soekarna said. In addition to the victims, a suspected suicide bomber died at each hotel as well, he said.

Security has been extremely high at the Marriott hotel in Jakarta since it was struck by a car bombing in August 2003 that killed 12 people.

Suspicion immediately fell on Jemaah Islamiyah (JI), the Islamist terrorist network with ties to Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda terrorist network that was tied to the 2003 Marriott attack and the 2002 Bali nightclub bombings that killed more than 200 people, mostly foreign tourists.

Hendarso said the type of explosives found were similar to those found in a recent raid on a home in West Java that was linked to Noordin Top, a suspected leader of a small JI splinter group that espouses the use of large-scale terror attacks to push for the establishment of Islamic states in the region.

So far, there has been no claim of responsibility for the latest attack. Al Jazeera English reported that it was in touch with a JI member who denied any involvement in Friday's hotel bombings. Watch analysts discuss potential suspects »

The fatalities include New Zealand national Timothy David McKay, 60, according to Indonesia's state-run Antara New Agency. McKay -- the CEO of Holcim Indonesia, a cement company -- was at the hotel for a breakfast meeting with fellow prominent business leaders, the Jakarta Post reported.

Indonesian media also reported that two directors of Freeport Indonesia, the largest copper and gold mining company in Indonesia, were wounded in the attacks on the two hotels.

Britain's Manchester United soccer team canceled its trip to Indonesia after the bombing. It had been scheduled to check into the Ritz-Carlton on Sunday...

Emergency numbers

Marriott/Ritz-Carlton Family Assistance Hotline
+1 8662114610
+14023903265

..."

--CNN's Kathy Quiano and Andy Saputra in Jakarta, Indonesia contributed to this report.

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When I just thought how I'm longing to go back to Jakarta as soon as I graduate.. As Kevin Rudd said on tv..we're dealing with very very ugly people, and I'll add to his pers conference statement, this act is awefully disgusting!

Jakarta The Sin City ..or the soulful city

Welcome to Jakarta,

If people call Vegas as sin city, then Jakarta would be Asia's Sin City... The sparkling dangerous night life, the lifestyle, the contrast difference between social status, the food, fashion, politics, pollution...everything crumpled into one city. J A K A R T A.

Once colonized by the Dutch, it has grown into a metropolitan Muslim city inhabited by people from many racial backgrounds. Good looking people of a mix between westerners and indos are often found on billboards or TVs and cinemas..heaps of them.

The good thing of being away from my mum in this city is the habit of not eating a lot. Media pressure for girls are enormous. Getting slim in Asian standard is so encouraged. Everywhere you go, rarely you see chubby chicks, I am considered chubby here ( Asian standard ). Scared of driving in the crazy roads of Jakarta, it prevents me to just wander off to some eating places and eat whatever I want. It isn't like Perth where I can just drive off to Fast Ed or 24hr McD without having the need to ask for anyone's permission and to watch out for snakey annoying motorcycles.

But I like it here. The city has a lot to offer in terms of entertainment and night life, but I just have to watch out...it's a sin city where everything is possible. I have to guard myself..and if I can control myself, life here can be good. It's just sad how racial discrimination still exist, but I guess I can't just pity myself.. I have to focus and get what I want, screw racial discrimination.. Agnes can beat it.

So far, this is my impression of my hometown...No matter how long I've been educated in Australia, I always want to go back to Jakarta...to the Sin City.


Umm...maybe I'll just change it to the Soulful City :p~

Before presentation...

Ok.. i'm quite nervous.. i'm not entirely satisfied with my work...

but yesterday a friend wrote to me "God's favor upon you" ..and I would like to say 'Amen' to that.

Our Ritual Tea-Drinking Night

Love love love love love!
My sisters are awesome! Unfortunate that Cindy couldn't make it :( ...it would've been more fun..:( ..but it's okay, she's really tired aniwae.. we'll have another ritual next time and you shall not miss it! ^-^

Well..who knows talkin talkin talkin and talkin made us forgot that time does exist and oh how we didn't feel like going home at all..until I made sense of myself that I was the one driving, so I should not fell asleep nor too tired to drive (since i was responsible for another human being as well...hehehehehe)

Tea tea tea tea tea, I love the smell of Nishi's black tea, and for some weird reason, I tended to repeat words last night... hm hm hm hm hm...ANd Ohh Deutsch! let's all learn Deutsch!here are some examples:

how? how do i do that? = wie? wie mache ich das? (vee maehke eeh das)
what for? = wozu? (vootszoo)
with what? = womit? (voomit)

But I love our 'Discussion' Unit 101...I definitely gained a lot, and if it was on exam, I'd probably score 80! hehehehe (trying to look 'humble but NOT' by not typing 100%)..

I like it when everything's so open that we can be ourselves without any shame, without any doubts, without any fear of being judged. I feel at home :).

Went out for a while to say 'cya later' to a friend in the airport, then I seriously couldn't wait to get back to the IA headquarter, esp. the living room last night --> home! it was just the right size with room to move and each on every available couch ;P~

Catching up with the girls was lovely..I enjoyed it so muchh :D. It made me ponder..what's gonna happen next year....we should go crazy with our finale ritual tea-drinking night!!


some fun keywords:

"Ich Liebe Dich", kimmykepo!, lolipops, B..B (i'm not gonna say it hhahahha)





'What happens in IA Sisterhood stays in IA Sisterhood'.

Inspirations of the day

Quotes from Joel Esteen / messages from him that are inspirational and worth learning:

FEAR IS CONTAGIOUS

EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL

DON'T USE YOUR ENERGY TO WORRY, BUT USE YOUR ENERGY TO BELIEVE

BE GRATEFUL

The Green Mile

Have you ever watched Green Mile? Apart from my admiration to Tom Hanks for his brilliant acting, I love this movie's message and beautiful wise quotes. It's about a life story of corrections officer Paul Edgecomb , E Block supervisor (Green Mile - Death Row) up in Cold Mountain prison whose life changed forever after meeting a prisoner named John Coffey. He's an innocent 'extra-ordinary' black American who had to be punished by electric-chair death punishment set in around 1930s. He was accused of raping and killing two little white girls and was condemned to death by the jury of peers. Through John Coffey, he brought light and changed many people's lives (esp. Paul), for John is known as 'one of God's true miracles'.

Some of the wise quotes that I think worth learning from several scenes:

-Scene where Paul gave John corn bread his wife made as a thankful gift for curing Paul's disease. Two of the inmates wanted shares of the bread (one is a bad guy who rapped and killed the two little girls *at this stage, no one knew about it*, and the other one apparently repented).

Del (prisoner): Oo John I can smell it from here, I surely can..
John: Can I give Del and Mr.Jingles some? (Mr Jingles is the mouse pet of Del)
Paul: Well, it's yours, John. You can do with it as you please.
John: Here. This for Del and Mr. Jingles. (halfed the bread and gave it to Paul)
Wild Bil (bad prisoner): Hey! What about me? I'm gonna get some too, ain't I?
John: (looking unsure)
Paul: It's yours, John. As you please.
John: I think I'll just keep the rest, then.

It's a simple convo, but I got so much out of it. Sometimes we're confused on decisions we ought to make in our lives...Sometimes we depend so much on others that we're standing on a shaky ground...And Freedom of choice.. God gives us freedom to choose our paths, actions, and words..Such treasure that we need to take wisely, like John...I encourage you to think over the quotes.

-Scene when it's the final night before the death sentence. Paul wanted to help John so he doesn't have to be sentenced the next day. Paul is feeling tremendously burdenned because He's about to execute an innocent man.

Paul: John...I have to ask you something very important now.
John: I know what you gonna say.. You don't have to say it.
Paul: No, I do. I do. I have to say it.
Paul: John..tell me what you want me to do. You want me take you out of here?Just let you run away? See how far you could get?
John: Why would you do such a foolish thing?
Paul: On the day of my judgement... When I stand before God... and He asks me why did I ..killed one of His true.... miracles...What am I going to say? That it was my job? It's my job.
John: You tell God the Father, it was a kindness you done. I know you're hurting and worrying. I can feel it on you. But you ought to quit it now. I want it to be over and done with. I do..
John: I'm tired , Boss.. Tired of being on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. I'm tired of never having me a buddy to be with...Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world...everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head...all the time. Can you understand?
Paul: Yes John...I think I can...

It's a moment where it just slapped me when John said 'tired of people being ugly to each other'.. Bitchiness, hatred, discrimination, and everything, all the so self-centred attitudes, blaming others, etc... I feel like I'm part of them..part of those people who are being ugly to each other.. Maybe if it was God... Maybe it's like pieces of glass in His head...all the time...We have no more contract with evil...why are we still 'working' in it? This is something I need to rehab myself with too...because on the day of my judgement, when I stand before God... [continue it with your own thoughts].

Girl Power! We Can Do it!!

I shall share to the highlights of my activities in these past 2 days.



First of all: due to the storm, I think our cracked traditional roof couldn't handle the pressure very well, so there was leakage thru the top ceiling of our side-entrance. So 2 days ago, we (all three macho women: my mum, my cousin, myself) climbed up to the rooftop and fixed stuffs. Gee, men would be handy! But, we made it by ourselves - fixing the roof! Well-done *tap on the backs*! We could see pretty much the views surrounding our neighbourhood, and thankgoodnessssss we don't live across a busy street, otherwise, so embarassing laa..Coz we wore our pj's and God knows what kind of difficulties and weird positions we had to pose (I guess regular pilates might have helped..)

Secondly, last night we removed several furnitures around. That's including removing all the Cds', books, rubbish, etc.. And the biggest of the biggest was removing our huge and heavy TV cabinets. We had to move it outside for the brand-new credenza to come in... (I can't wait for it!So excited!!).



What I've learnt from these:

Here in Perth, is so different to Indo where you have all the helpers you need.. e.i. maids, drivers, etc. Places like Perth is where everything is D.I.Y, unless the zeros in your bank account is no more accountable :p. We wished we had some helpers from the Adam's clan, but since there was none, we can't really be dependent creatures. I shall add, women really aren't only about cooking, sewing, washing, and all works that don't need physical strength and logic-strategic thinking. No men in the house? No worry! We (girls) can do it!!

When you do it for others...

Life..
is like a drawing book, with plain white papers.
Colours are the emotions accumulated from experiences.
And you are the artist.


Okay, so my mother decided to surprise us (me and my sis and my cuzzy) by visiting us here in Perth, arriving last Thursday... The house was a mess, everything was in chaos, and we were so not prepared...for house raid!!
My 'exclusive' bathroom was okay (since I prefer to have my own bathroom), kitchen was a mess, laundry and study room..mm okay, let's skip this boring part..

Although I can't concentrate for most of the time ...but I actually truly treasure the time being. When she's here, I feel bad if I just leave her alone, which made me set aside some uni stuffs, church stuffs, social stuffs, and prioritize her the most, then Design. Ofcourse I know my own time-management, and I've learnt thru these years what to do, what to say, what to prioritize, etc. I do complain, I still do, but aren't girls complicated humanbeings? Mother-Daughter Love and bond live beneath all arguments and complaints.

So helping her in house chores, in buying new furnitures, new layout for the house, taking her to her favourite dining places, ride the car @ riverside = remedies for aching soul. Surprisingly, it feels good. When you know you're giving services that come from your heart to people who need them, or at least to someone... you feel rich. It is like what you saw is what you reap. You feel like your life is worth something.. That life itself is not about you and own ego.

When you do it for others without expecting anything in return..and focus on that person's happiness...I'd say you just finished a page with beautiful strokes of colours.

Comprehending F.A.T

Weight Weight and Weight!!!Isn't that the issue on what every Eve's tribes (I shall specify it: Azn girls) complaining about - FAT!!!

From FAT..they sorta softened it into CHUBBY..so much for saving some faces...and it kind of frustrates me how they have super duper small sizes...the skinnier you are, the more normal you are (not till anorexic point of course)... So many girls complaining how fat they are ( in return for appraisal and comfort 'no darl, you're not!')...

It's true that no Azn girls wants to be called 'fat' or 'you're so chubby'...that's considered an insult (thanks to the media and various culture for this mind-set). They say, they want to loose some weight and be 'slim' as in 'thin' to gain confidence...(thanks again to Media & Friends)...Isn't this world so cruel? How many girls have lost their good self-esteem for this matter? How many friendships are broken simply because one just couldn't understand the struggle the other-one has been dealing with? BE SENSITIVE! It's not about you, you, and you, but it's about us..Let's put ourselves in each other's shoes and FEEL it for goodness sake!!

Some light advice:

I myself have been struggling with weight issue until this minute.. and I really know how it feels to be called 'fat'..Although yes it's true I might be an overweight person, but it's not right to say something that can be destructive to someone's self-esteem if you aren't prepared to be destructed in return. Words, Actions, and Consequences, people.

So if you're telling me 'Hey, you're so chubby!' ..okay, great, thanks for your view, but it's up to me to either eat it, shoot it back, or throw it in the bin. The funny thing is.. if someone tell me I'm fat, I would smile and made jokes out of it.. The next time I see that person and tell him/her that they're fat, they would tell me "Like you're not!"...wow...such a cruel world. Read this one... If you make sarcastical jokes on someone else's appearance, then you have to be prepared and allow that person to make sarcastical jokes on yours as well... It's a fair go. In this case then everyone's happy : D. All good and acceptable (in my case).

And for those of you who are being discriminated for being chubby/fat, tell them that 'Yes I am FAT' because FAT for us means: Fabulous, Attractive, and Tough.

Oh..and..learn from Po :)

Through it all - god. thesis. love. chip.

Isaiah 43 says: ² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
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I have to say that the past few months of this year haven't been the greatest months of my life. Most of the burden I'd have to say coming from my Thesis study, personal-relationships issues, and the End of Days. I have been struggling trying to grasp the essence of what I'm trying to accomplish in life.

For Thesis, the topic I chose isn't a popular one and has been sceptically accepted by Western society (and even Eastern society as well to certain extent)..and that is Feng Shui. I know how this is contradictory to Christian belief, but as I dig and dig down more towards the subject, Feng Shui elements that I'm looking at is the 'Art of Placement', it's the art and logic behind that captures me, and I'm not looking into the religion nor mystical issues of it. I've found FOCUS is very hard to do when I have loads of other things to think about, study about, and solve about.

Moreover, I've been struggling myself to use some wisdom to not feed 'arrogance','hatred', 'disgust' to certain people. I've tried putting them on an anorexic diet and feed 'love' and 'forgiveness' instead (poor love, it has been thin all these months). But it's not as easy as I predicted.

One more thing, about the judgment day... There's this surge of feelings that haunt me such as: what if i didn't make it? what if this that happen to my family? etc.. Especially with the news that the 'chip' is going to be launched on the 12th of May this year.. it creeps the h_ _ l out of me!

God knows how I've been struggling with my current life-stage, and I've been walking trying to against the current of the river. I'm as scared as a fragile thin glass which about to break. I wish time could go slower that I may have enough time to think more, do more, breath more...and yet now I found myself racing with time.

I just started reading the Bible again for the past few days after H2O mass on Saturday evening, where we are to commit about something for God (and for me, it was : reading BIble everydaY). And as days passed by, I began to , again, feel that He has always been here for me, it's just me who's been running away in circles, rectangles, whatever...But He has not even once abandon me. There's the string which links my feet to His feet that will never be broken down, and will only be strengthened as time goes by.

As I read that verse yesterday night, I was once again woken up. When I pass through the waters, He'll be with me... The current of water, in which I have to walk against shall not defeat me, it shall not tumble me down because He is with me. When I pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over me...I will not be drowned.. When I walk through the fire, I will not be burned... because He shelters me through it all.