Thursday, May 7, 2009

Through it all - god. thesis. love. chip.


Isaiah 43 says: 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
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I have to say that the past few months of this year haven't been the greatest months of my life. Most of the burden I'd have to say coming from my Thesis study, personal-relationships issues, and the End of Days. I have been struggling trying to grasp the essence of what I'm trying to accomplish in life.

For Thesis, the topic I chose isn't a popular one and has been sceptically accepted by Western society (and even Eastern society as well to certain extent)..and that is Feng Shui. I know how this is contradictory to Christian belief, but as I dig and dig down more towards the subject, Feng Shui elements that I'm looking at is the 'Art of Placement', it's the art and logic behind that captures me, and I'm not looking into the religion nor mystical issues of it. I've found FOCUS is very hard to do when I have loads of other things to think about, study about, and solve about.

Moreover, I've been struggling myself to use some wisdom to not feed 'arrogance','hatred', 'disgust' to certain people. I've tried putting them on an anorexic diet and feed 'love' and 'forgiveness' instead (poor love, it has been thin all these months). But it's not as easy as I predicted.

One more thing, about the judgment day... There's this surge of feelings that haunt me such as: what if i didn't make it? what if this that happen to my family? etc.. Especially with the news that the 'chip' is going to be launched on the 12th of May this year.. it creeps the h_ _ l out of me!

God knows how I've been struggling with my current life-stage, and I've been walking trying to against the current of the river. I'm as scared as a fragile thin glass which about to break. I wish time could go slower that I may have enough time to think more, do more, breath more...and yet now I found myself racing with time.

I just started reading the Bible again for the past few days after H2O mass on Saturday evening, where we are to commit about something for God (and for me, it was : reading BIble everydaY). And as days passed by, I began to , again, feel that He has always been here for me, it's just me who's been running away in circles, rectangles, whatever...But He has not even once abandon me. There's the string which links my feet to His feet that will never be broken down, and will only be strengthened as time goes by.

As I read that verse yesterday night, I was once again woken up. When I pass through the waters, He'll be with me... The current of water, in which I have to walk against shall not defeat me, it shall not tumble me down because He is with me. When I pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over me...I will not be drowned.. When I walk through the fire, I will not be burned... because He shelters me through it all.

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